Dawn at the Wellington Boxing Gym (Petone) – Sweat, Sacrifice & a New Start
It’s 4:30 AM and I’m already in motion. This isn’t just training—it’s boxing recovery in its truest form. Each jab and drop of sweat rewires my discipline, my focus, and my self-respect.. No more hazy mornings hungover or in withdrawal – this wake-up is intentional. Three days a week, I pull myself from warm sheets and into the predawn chill of Petone, heading to the Wellington Boxing Gym by 6 AM. I’m in fight camp, relearning discipline and self-respect one round at a time. Before the sun even rises, I wrap my hands and step into the boxing ring. Sparring sessions, blistering pad work, burpees until my lungs burn – this is how I chose to rebuild myself. Each jab, each burpee, each 2-minute sparring round is both penance and promise. The ritual of training is brutally physical: sweat stings my eyes, knuckles bruise, heart pounds. But within that physical grind, something deeper is happening. I’m not just training my body; I’m rewiring my brain.
At first, I only knew that these intense workouts made me feel alive. Over time, I learned there’s real science behind that feeling. Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman describes how high-intensity movement releases a cocktail of brain chemicals – dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins – that can jumpstart neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to rewire itself). In every heavy bag slam and every 6 AM start, I was tapping into that biology. My early morning boxing routine was like a lab experiment in healing: flooding my brain with growth factors like BDNF to forge new neural pathways. I’d stumbled onto a personal therapy more powerful than any pill. As I gasped for air after sparring, I could feel a shift – a steadier focus, a hint of pride, even flickers of joy. Those were dopamine and endorphins doing their work, laying down new circuits of motivation and reward where addiction had burned out the old ones. Science shows that consistent exercise even leads to enduring increases in dopamine signaling and mood improvement – I was living proof of that. Punch by punch, sweat drop by sweat drop, I was teaching my brain that change was possible.
Fight Camp to Neuroplasticity Camp – How Boxing Reset My Brain
In addiction, my brain had become wired for quick dopamine hits and destructive loops. Boxing became my rewire mechanism. Dr. Huberman often says “emotion follows motion” – meaning our mind can be led by our body’s actions. I found this to be true: when I pushed my body, my brain followed. The sparks of discipline and focus I felt in the gym began carrying over into the rest of my life. I’d leave the gym at 7 AM drenched and exhausted, yet strangely uplifted. There’s a term Huberman uses: “adaptive stress.” The stress of intense exercise, applied in manageable doses, triggers the body and brain to adapt and grow stronger rather than breaking down. In those weeks of fight camp, I was living in a state of adaptive stress. Each training session was hard – but not as hard as destroying my life had been. I treated the boxing ring as my neurological training ground, a place to rebuild synapse by synapse.
Neuroplasticity isn’t an abstract concept for me; I felt it happening. At first, waking up at 4:30 was torture. My body and brain rebelled – why are we doing this?! But repetition is the mother of change. After a few weeks, I noticed a shift: my 4:30 AM alarm started feeling… normal. Cravings that usually hit me in the late afternoons were quieter on training days. I was carving new habits, and behind the scenes my neurons were forging new connections. In fact, research shows certain physical activities trigger the release of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that facilitates learning and brain change. I like to imagine BDNF as the foreman on my brain’s “renovation site,” strengthening the circuits for focus, patience, and drive. Every round in the ring was like therapy for my nervous system – discharging stress and teaching me that struggle can be productive. Over time, those consistent morning habits became what I think of as “neural votes for peace” – my routine was literally training my nervous system to be calmer and more focused. This was neuroplasticity in real time: repetition carving calm into my brain’s pathways.
Trauma in the Rear-View Mirror – Healing the Mind-Body Disconnect
Boxing wasn’t just exertion; it was exorcism. I was fighting more than a punching bag – I was fighting the trauma, shame, and self-loathing that had kept me in addiction’s grip. As Dr. Gabor Maté would say, addiction is never really about the drugs or the drink – it’s about the pain beneath. I had to face that pain in order to heal. The truth is, I didn’t end up an addict because everything was fine and I just made some bad choices. I was using substances to numb unresolved hurt. Maté teaches that addictions of any kind are “attempts to escape emotional discomfort… a normal response to abnormal suffering”. In other words, my brain learned to soothe itself with chaos because it lacked healthier ways to cope. When I stepped into the boxing gym, I began teaching it a new way.
The first thing boxing forced me to do was be present in my body. When you’re sparring and a hook is coming at your head, you can’t dissociate or mentally check out – your attention and body must be united. For someone who had mastered the art of checking out (through drugs, alcohol, or simply tuning out feelings), this was revolutionary. I remember early on, my coach said, “Keep your eyes up, stay with it!” whenever I’d flinch or turn away in the ring. It was more than boxing advice; it was life advice. I had to literally face what was coming at me. Over time, this filtered outside the ring: I started facing difficult emotions instead of immediately running from them.
Dr. Maté talks about self-regulation – the ability to experience strong emotions without being overwhelmed or having to escape. I had almost none of that ability when I walked into the gym. If I felt anger, it exploded; if I felt sadness, I drowned it in booze; anxiety, I smothered with pills. Boxing became a crash course in self-regulation. Picture this: you’re on your third round of intensive sparring, lungs burning, and your partner lands a body shot that knocks the wind out of you. Every cell in your body screams to panic. But you learn to breathe through it, regain your stance, and keep going. In those moments, I was training my nervous system to handle stress and return to baseline. The chaos inside me gradually found structure through 3-minute rounds and 1-minute rests. I learned to ride out the adrenaline spike of a fight and then actively recover my breath between rounds. Unknowingly, I was practicing what psychologists call distress tolerance and vagal tone improvement – essentially teaching my body it could survive high stress and then safely come back to calm.
That lesson carried over powerfully into daily life. One afternoon, stuck in traffic, late for work, I felt the old spike of panic and rage. Normally I’d be cursing, hands shaking… maybe I’d have pulled out a flask in the past. But this time, I instinctively took a deep breath like I would between rounds. I actually felt my body remember: we’ve been here before, we know how to do this. I credit boxing for that. It gave me a somatic way to process and release trauma that years of avoidance had trapped in my body. By physically exhausting myself and confronting discomfort head-on, I was unwinding the tightly wound coil of trauma in my nervous system. In Māori culture, there’s a concept of holistic wellness called Te Whare Tapa Whā – the four pillars of health: physical, mental, whānau (social), and spiritual. Looking back, my boxing journey touched all four. The physical pillar (taha tinana) was obvious – I was getting fit and strong. But mentally (hinengaro), I was healing anxiety and depression; socially (whānau), I found a supportive community in my coach and fellow fighters; spiritually (wairua), I regained a sense of purpose and self-worth. Balance those four walls, and the house of wellbeing stands firm – lose one, and the whole structure weakens. For me, boxing was the foundation that helped rebuild all four sides of my hauora (health).
The Power of Vulnerability (Gloves Off) – Rebuilding Self-Worth
Stepping into a boxing gym as a 30-something ex-addict with shaky hands – let me tell you, that was an exercise in vulnerability. I was the newbie, surrounded by more experienced people (well in my head they were). I was tempted to armor up with ego or quit in embarrassment more times than I can count. But I kept showing up, and in doing so I had to embrace being truly seen – weak, imperfect, and trying anyway. Author Brené Brown calls vulnerability “having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome”. Every 6 AM that I showed up at the gym, I was living that definition. I couldn’t control if I’d get pummeled in sparring or if I’d gas out on the jump rope. I just had to show up and be seen in my struggle. And paradoxically, that made me feel stronger and more worthy than any amount of hiding ever did.
In addiction, I carried deep shame – a sense of unworthiness that I tried to mask with bravado or substances. Boxing stripped all that pretense away. When you’re doubled over, sucking wind, entirely at your limit, you can’t hide. I would finish workouts so exhausted I’d sit on the gym floor, back against the wall, feeling absolutely defeated. Not from pain, but from a strange mix of relief and pride. It’s like each session chipped away at the wall I’d built around my emotions. Brown’s research teaches that vulnerability is the birthplace of courage and self-worth. In those raw post-training moments, I finally believed it. Instead of seeing my emotions as weakness, I started to recognize them as proof that I’m alive and human and healing.
One morning after a hard sparring, my coach clapped a hand on my shoulder as I fought back tears of frustration (Unknowingly to him my inner critic was active that day). I expected a pep talk about toughness. Instead he said quietly, “Keep going Brendan, your getting better.” That simple acknowledgement broke me open. In that moment I understood that being vulnerable – letting someone witness my struggle – wasn’t weakness at all. It was the key to connection. It made me coachable, helpable, human. As Brené Brown puts it, “We’re afraid to let ourselves be seen, but it’s the only way to truly feel love and belonging.” I began to let in support – from my coaches, from friends and family I’d shut out. I even found the courage to attend group therapy, where I shared my story honestly for the first time, gloves off. And you know what? Not a single person laughed or judged. In fact, the more I opened up, the more others said, “Me too.”
Through these experiences, I slowly rebuilt my self-worth. I started to believe I was worth something, not because I could throw a punch or survive a circuit training (though those gave me pride), but because I was finally being myself. I was showing up authentically, scars and all. There’s a concept in Māori and Pacific cultures about mana – a sense of honor and self-esteem. I had lost my mana in addiction; boxing and vulnerability helped me reclaim it. Every time I laced up my gloves despite the fear of failure, every time I admitted “I need help” or “I’m struggling” to someone I trusted, I regained a piece of my self-respect. The ring became a place of truth-telling: you can’t lie to yourself when you’re exhausted and facing an opponent. And in telling the truth about my limits, I learned to also tell the truth about my worth. I mattered – not because I was invincible, but because I was finally brave enough to be vulnerable. As Brown says, “There is no courage without vulnerability.” That lesson will stay with me far beyond the boxing gym and fight camp.
Rituals, Recovery & Reinforcement – From Lion’s Mane to Red Light
While boxing was one of the catalysts of my recovery, rituals and wellness practices became the glue that held my new life together. Lumana Lifestyle grew out of the very practices that helped me heal. I found that integrating supportive products and rituals into my routine vastly accelerated my progress – blending modern science with ancestral wisdom (and a dash of convenience for my busy life). Here are a few of the game-changers I embraced:
- Lion Sip – Morning Focus in a Cup: Early on, I swapped my jittery energy drinks for a more mindful morning brew. Lion Sip, Lumana’s Lion’s Mane-infused coffee, became my pre-gym ritual for clean focus. Instead of spiking my anxiety, this smooth organic coffee gave me calm, steady alertness for those 6 AM training sessions. Lion’s Mane mushroom is known to support cognitive function and neuroplasticity, priming my brain to learn new combos and reactions in the ring. The act of brewing it at dawn became almost meditative – a signal to my brain that it was time to gear up. I’d sip it on my drive to the gym, envisioning the day’s training. That focused mindset meant I showed up more present and ready to give my all. (Science backs this: Lion’s Mane has compounds that may promote nerve growth and concentration.) For me, Lion Sip wasn’t just coffee; it was a daily promise to myself – that I was fueling my body and brain with something good, preparing for growth rather than destruction. (Lion Sip – Awakened Coffee)
- Vita Sip – Sipping Resilience: After pushing my body to the limit, recovery was key. I began a habit of an afternoon or evening cup of Vita Sip, Lumana’s adaptogenic herbal tea blend. This wasn’t just any tea – it’s packed with ingredients like sencha, ginger, liquorice, and elderflower known to calm stress and bolster immunity. I learned that our immune system and nervous system are deeply intertwined; chronic stress from trauma can weaken immunity, and conversely soothing our nerves can strengthen our immune response. Vita Sip became my ritual to signal safety to my body. Each sip felt like it was restoring me from the inside out – lowering cortisol, reducing the inflammation from tough workouts, and just helping me exhale. The adaptogens in Vita Sip work on the body’s stress system (HPA axis) to literally help it adapt and find balance. Over time, I noticed fewer colds, faster muscle recovery, and a calmer baseline mood on the days I took time for my tea ritual. It was a daily reminder that healing happens in soft moments too, not just in intense ones. In Māori terms, it nurtured my taha wairua (spirit) and taha tinana (body) simultaneously – a moment of peace and nourishment. (Internal link: Vita Sip – Organic Vitality Tea)
- Pulsetto – Tapping the Vagus Nerve “Reset”: One of the hardest parts of early recovery and training was calming down extreme adrenaline and anxiety. Some nights I’d lie in bed, body exhausted but mind still in fight-or-flight mode, replaying the day’s sparring or battling old demons of doubt. Enter the Pulsetto Vagus Nerve Stimulator – a small wearable device that became a secret weapon in my recovery arsenal. The vagus nerve is like the brake for our stress response, and stimulating it tells your body “hey, it’s okay to relax now.” I started using Pulsetto in the evenings or after particularly intense training days. I’d strap it on my neck and let it work its magic for a quick 4-minute session. It’s wild how effective it is – literally within minutes I’d feel my shoulders drop, breath deepen, that tight ball of tension in my gut start to unwind. It’s not placebo; it’s neuroscience. Pulsetto sends gentle pulses that activate the vagus nerve, which in turn triggers a wave of calm by lowering heart rate and stress hormones. Think of it as high-tech meditation. Studies on devices like this (non-invasive vagus nerve stimulators) show significant drops in cortisol and anxiety with regular use. In my experience, it was like a panic off-switch. After using Pulsetto, I could transition from the intensity of training or a stressful day into a relaxed state for dinner with family or a good night’s sleep. Over time, consistently engaging my vagus nerve retrained my autonomic nervous system to not stay stuck in fight-or-flight. I became more resilient – both on the spot and long-term – at handling stress without spiraling. (Pulsetto Vagus Nerve Stimulator)
- Red Light Therapy – Shining a Light on Recovery: The final piece of my holistic toolkit came somewhat unexpectedly. I learned about red light therapy through Lumana and was intrigued by its promises of cellular recovery and nervous system support. I got a small red light device (the Lumana Mini60 panel) and started using it daily – 10 minutes shining on my chest or back in the mornings or evenings. It quickly became my favorite unwinding ritual. Bathed in that gentle red glow, I could literally feel tension melting. And again, the science blew me away: dozens of studies validate that red and near-infrared light exposure boosts cellular energy (ATP) production and reduces inflammation, speeding up healing. Stanford researchers have noted solid evidence that red light therapy tamps down inflammation in the body – a key benefit when you’re nursing sore muscles or, in my case, healing a stress-battered body. For me, using red light was like telling my body “you can heal now.” I noticed my post-training soreness went down and even my sleep improved (fun fact: unlike blue light, red light doesn’t screw up your melatonin; in fact it may improve sleep quality). Emotionally, it became a kind of meditation. I’d sit quietly with the warm red light on my face, sometimes praying, sometimes just resting. It gave me a pause in the day to reflect and be grateful – touching on that spiritual pillar of wellbeing. If boxing revved me up, red light gently brought me back to balance, day after day. (Red Light Therapy Devices)
Integrating these products and practices created a 360° healing routine for me. Morning Lion Sip sharpened my mind and fueled my training (physical and mental health ✅). Midday or evening Vita Sip and Pulsetto sessions calmed my nerves and built inner resilience (emotional and physiological balance ✅). Red light therapy supported my body’s recovery and signaled safety (cellular and spiritual healing ✅). In essence, I crafted a daily ritual loop: energize, exert, recover, relax. This loop became the backbone of my new lifestyle – so much so that I founded Lumana Lifestyle to share these very tools. They were integral in my journey from a shaking, addicted shell of myself to a centered, purpose-driven man in recovery. By combining movement, mindfulness, and science-backed wellness, I created a personal ecosystem that kept me on track even when life got hard.
From Rock Bottom to Redemption – The Ongoing Journey
The fight isn’t over – and that’s okay. Recovery isn’t a finish line you cross; it’s a way of living, a commitment to continuous growth. Boxing gave me the spark to change, but it’s the integration of sweat, science, and soul that keeps that change alive. There have been setbacks. There were days I woke up and wanted to hide under the covers instead of going to the gym – days when a wave of craving or depression hit out of nowhere. But now I have an armory of healthy coping tools: I know how to breathe through cravings, how to reach out instead of isolating, how to use my Lumana rituals (tea, red light, vagus breathing, etc.) to ground myself. Most importantly, I have a different narrative playing in my head. I’m not a lost cause or a victim of my past. I’m a fighter – in the very real sense that I fought my way back to life.
Every time I catch a glimpse of my boxing gloves, hanging by my door, I’m reminded of that. They’re scuffed, sweat-stained, even blood-stained – and I love them for it. They symbolize transformation. As the Māori proverb goes, “He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tāngata, he tāngata, he tāngata.” – What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is people, it is people. Boxing brought people back into my world. It reconnected me with myself and with a community. It gave me mentors, friends, and eventually, through Lumana, a way to help others.
Dr. Gabor Maté often emphasizes that the antidote to addiction is not just sobriety, but connection – connecting to your authentic self and to supportive others. In the ring, I found my authentic self – raw and unrefined, yes, but real. Through vulnerability I connected with others who became my lifeline. And through holistic wellness rituals, I connected my mind, body, and spirit in a way I never had before. It’s a far cry from the fragmented person I was.
Brené Brown likes to say, “We don’t have to do it all alone. We were never meant to.” In my darkest days, I thought I had to fix myself by myself. Boxing taught me otherwise. I needed my coach’s guidance, my sparring partners’ camaraderie, my family’s forgiveness, my culture’s wisdom, and science’s knowledge. Recovery, I’ve learned, is a team sport. And when I let all those elements play together – sweat (physical work), science (neuroscience & tools), and soul (emotional vulnerability and meaning) – that’s when the real magic happened.
Today, I continue to train, though I balance boxing with gentler practices too. I’ll hit the gym for some rounds. I drink my Lion Sip coffee each morning not just for focus but as a reminder of how far I’ve come – from hungover dawns to energized ones. I make a pot of Vita Sip or share it with a friend when we need to de-stress and talk things out. I use my Pulsetto whenever I feel that tightness creeping back into my chest – a little voice telling me old fears – and it helps me release them. I bask in red light in the evenings while journaling, letting go of the day. These rituals keep me steady and resilient. Life will always have storms, but I’ve built a whare (house) of wellbeing with strong foundations to withstand them.
If you’re reading this and you’re in a dark place: I want you to know that change is possible. Neuroplasticity isn’t just a buzzword – it’s your brain’s innate gift to reinvent itself. No story is set in stone, not even one of addiction or trauma. My journey happened to feature boxing, but your “boxing” can be anything that challenges and energizes you – any practice that engages you fully and helps you find yourself. It might be running, dancing, painting, surfing, lifting, meditation – or a mix of many. The key is to start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can, consistently. Sweat a little, learn a little, open your heart a little – day after day. Tiny steps become transformative paths.
Embracing the Lumana Lifestyle
In sharing my story, I hope you feel a spark of inspiration to embark (or continue) on your own healing journey. Remember that holistic recovery means honoring all parts of you. Your body is a powerful ally – move it, challenge it, let it teach your brain that you are stronger than the hurt. Your mind is plastic – feed it knowledge (I geeked out on neuroscience podcasts from Dr. Huberman to understand what I was experiencing; knowledge truly is power). Your soul and emotions aren’t burdens – they are guideposts, worthy of attention and compassion. As I learned through Te Whare Tapa Whā, true wellness stands on multiple pillars. When you nurture each of them, you create a life of balance and meaning.
Lumana Lifestyle was born from this philosophy. “Lumana” comes from illumination – it’s about shedding light on the path to wellness, much like that gentle red glow that soothed me or the sunrise runs that awakened me. We’ve curated products that I personally used because I believe in their ability to complement the inner work you’re doing. It’s not about quick fixes or one-size-fits-all solutions. It’s about integrating supportive tools into your unique journey. Whether it’s a focus-boosting cup of Lion Sip coffee to start your day with clarity, a calming Vita Sip tea ritual to remind your body it’s safe, a Pulsetto session to gently guide you from stress to calm, or a red light therapy wind-down to heal at a cellular level – these are aids to reinforce the positive changes you’re making. They each played a role for me, and I offer them in case they might play a role for you.
Sweat, science, and soul – those are the three tenets I keep coming back to. Sweat clears my head and anchors me in the present. Science (and its offspring, technology and nutrition) gives me the tools to hack my healing and understand myself better. Soul – the willingness to be vulnerable, to connect, to find meaning – gives everything purpose and keeps me grounded in who I truly am. My recovery journey needed all three. Perhaps yours will too.
As I continue to train and also to mentor others at the gym, I see firsthand how movement can be medicine, how ritual can create resilience, and how when we align our actions with our intentions, we reclaim our power. The damaged man who walked into that boxing gym a year ago wouldn’t recognize the person I am now. And that’s a good thing. I left him on the old, sweat-stained canvas and stepped into a new story – one I’m still writing every day. I’ve gone from merely surviving to truly living and feeling.
Join the Journey – Your Turn to Rise
My story is just one example of what’s possible. What might your recovery journey look like? You don’t have to lace up gloves (unless you want to – then by all means, lets have some rounds!). The real takeaway is that healing is holistic. Find that physical outlet that makes you feel alive and channels your pain into power. Embrace the science that can amplify your progress – learn about your amazing nervous system, try tools and therapies that intrigue you. And above all, tend to your soul: be brave enough to ask for help, to share your story, to connect with a community (whether it’s a boxing club, a support group, a yoga class, or an online forum – find your tribe).
If you’re not sure where to start, Lumana is here to help. We’ve built a supportive space and a range of products geared towards nervous system resilience, movement recovery, and holistic healing – the same pillars that saved my life. From our wellness blog (where experts and fellow journeyers share insights) to our curated supplements and devices, we aim to illuminate your path.
You’ve got this, and you’re not alone. I fought my way out of the dark, and so can you. It starts with one small step – or one jab, one sip, one breath. Who knows? In a year, you might look back and hardly believe how far you’ve come. I’m rooting for you, and I invite you to reach out and join the Lumana community for support and inspiration along the way. After all, we rise by lifting each other.
Ready to take the next step in your own journey?
Explore Lumana’s range of products and rituals that support nervous system resilience, movement recovery, and holistic healing. Whether it’s Lion Sip for focused energy, Vita Sip for daily resilience, Face Sip for complexion, Pulsetto for a vagal reset, or our Red Light Therapy devices for cellular recovery – we’ve got tools to empower your process. Visit our Wellness Collection and discover what speaks to you. Embrace your journey with confidence – one round, one day at a time – and know that the entire Lumana family is in your corner. lumanalifestyle.com.
Also published on Medium